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Recast Yourself: Stop Playing the Victim

It is absolutely impossible to elevate yourself personally and take your personal and professional life to the next level without taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life.

100%.  Yeah, I know. That is an incredibly tough pill to swallow. I speak from experience.

In my past, if an organization could have given an award for “best actress for playing the victim,” there is a time in my life when I could have easily won the Gold. Why? Because I went through life making excuses about what I couldn’t do, or go, or have because….

 “So and so didn’t do his/her part.”

“My husband.”

“My children.”

“Lack of funds.”

“No time.”

“I’m a mom.”

You get the picture. When I spotted a roadblock, my immediate defense mechanism wasn’t to ask what I did to cause that particular problem, instead, it was to spot other reasons I was experiencing it. I’m going to be quite honest. Even though it did feel good in the short term to shirk the blame, the results in the long-term were extremely detrimental. Why? Because you set yourself up to be a victim.

Victims never win—because they are always at the mercy of other people.

I can remember when I thought it would be impossible to be an international public speaker with three children at every age bracket (6, 13, 16) until I met someone who was doing it, and was equally engaged with even more children.

My natural default was I will wait until…

The thing about being a victim is often you are the last person to realize that you are suffering from it. However, chances are, those around you (if they are on an upward trajectory) can spot it a mile a minute.

You can never ascend to the level of your dreams and actualize your fullest potential until you take 100% responsibility for where you are and the decisions you made to get you there.

Recast yourself today by choosing a new role. Make the decision today who you want to be. If you had to pick one word to describe this new role what would it be?




Go buy a journal and write everything that you can about the person who would be cast in this new role. What is she like? How does she dress? Talk? How does she handle conflict? How does she spend her free time?

Now, vow to yourself that you will start living into this role until you truly embody it. Quite simply, that is how you move from victim to victor.